Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, depending on where you are about in the world and what time zone you're in. So, my name's Paul Stalky Stalker. I'm a mindset coach, performance coach and as I'm doing these videos, I am working in the polo industry. I've worked with some high goal teams in England, 18 goals, 15 goals. I supported the England team last year in the Westchester Cup, and the Commonwealth, also the youngsters in the Whitbread. So, we've done a few flying hours. I've personally been doing this job for 38 years in May. So I've got a few flying hours and I would like to share with you the power of mental health, looking after your mind as well as your body as a polo player or parent or manager.

And I would like to say that I've had 10 gold players, best in world, ring me and beginners. So I work with a guy called Hilario Ulloa who was my teammate on the England camp. Then we worked bit together. He won
the US Open and I worked with Nina Clark in last year in the Arden, the women's Argentine Open and and and...

So, everybody gets nervous and worried and anxiety and fearful. That's principally because we're hardwired from millions and millions of years ago for survival. So what we're talking about here, and what we're going to be talking about is antidotes to stress, fear, anxiety. Try    and get you playing with a clear head and on point.

So the first thing is that everybody is prone to looking on the dark side, the Darth Vader side versus the Luke Skywalker side because we're hardwired. Even if you've done a basic to do list of your polo jobs, if you've got a to do list of eight, and you've completed six tasks, there's a high probability you'll be focusing on the two tasks you haven't done, and telling yourself off, versus telling yourself how great you are for a completed six, but this is what we're working with is your hardwired side.

So a lot of polo players get a bit worried. They get kind of anxiety, fear and these are the main subjects. So if you have got anxiety going into a game, let's try and isolate Why? Okay. So the first thing, is it losing a game, is it the result that gets you a bit worried? Is it embarrassing yourself? Is it worrying about what others will think of you? Is that your one? Or number two, fear of letting others down? Maybe your parents have bought the horses, maybe your teammates, maybe a friend has recommended you to play for that team. Or is it the fear of putting all the effort and energy in and playing as hard as you can and it not working anyway so you think what's the point?

And the last one is it a fear of making a big howler, a big mistake and then you will be embarrassing yourself and letting it continue. So the first thing I want you to do with fear is try to either put these in a chronological order, which means one to five of your biggest fears, but whatever fear it is, this is how I want you to consider dealing with it.

First of all, Fear is an involuntary call to action. Fear is not voluntary. Okay, you do get your sweaty palms and your tummy churns a bit, and a little bit of a tight neck and headache and pupils dilate. That's involuntary. That's because that was put in us as fight or flight for survival. So we have to work with this, okay?

So point one is fear is a call to action. You've got to do something that these are my principles. I learned these from a guy called Anthony Robbins in the States. First of all, know your outcome. What is your clear outcome? Well, if your outcome is to play well and not lose the match and win. That's great.

But then, you're going to say, well how do I stop the anxiety and the niggling fear? So the first thing's first, the easiest way to change the communication from your body to your brain is to change your, what we call, physiology. So if you hold your shoulders back, like this, and put your head up, and feel like your neck's up strong, and feel strong. It's much more difficult for your brain and your nervous system to send negative thoughts. So in my seminars, I say to people, Alright, do this, look at the ceiling like that, smile and try and be depressed. You can't do it. Because your body won't allow you, because it can't quite compute feeling sad with a positive body language.

On the other hand, if you went in like that, you're feeling sad already. Anyone that rings up from work, when they ring up sick, never rings up and goes, Hello, I'm really sorry, I'm not coming in, I've got a bad leg today. They normally go, Hello? Hello? I can't come in. Why are you talking like that? You've got bad legs.

So, and any depressed person's always got arms like this. Monotone. So, first thing to change your state of mind is to change your body language and get it positive. The next thing is rather than focusing on the danger, the loss, Or what could go wrong or what has gone wrong. You focus on past successes and having a success log is critical.

I coached a guy called Nico Escobar in the New York Open last year, and we got a great shot of him playing all his best shots over and over and over again. Went out in the final and won it! You've got to see you doing positive things. When you focus on positive elements of your game, Dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins are released into you.

So, what I want to recap on. If you're suffering from fear or anxiety, fine. Welcome it. Identify what sort of anxiety it is. Is the fear of embarrassment, the fear of losing the game, letting someone down. Then, change your body language. Change what you focus on, your successes, not failures. And then the biggest thing of all is act!

And when you're playing polo, no thinking brain. Feel it in your heart. Feel it in your soul. If you start thinking about playing polo, you lose. So you get yourself in a peak state, focus on your successes, be in the now, enjoy the game, and remember, you can only control the controllables. You can't control the other team.

You can't control your players. You can control you, your horse, and get in there and remember, what you can control, Worry about, take notice of, influence. If you can't control it, accept it and move with it. Don't start getting all anxietied up about what you can't control. All right? Live safe, live with passion and have a great day.